Teacher: What is ABCDE?
Boy: Dunno.
The boy asked his mother at home, who is busy trying to follow instructions from the cook book.
Boy: Mom, what is ABCDE?
Mother: **angry** Shut up or I'll stuff your mouth with curry chicken!
The boy remembered and asked his father who was busy singing a song
Boy: Dad, what is ABCDE?
Father: **busy singing** In the toilet, in the toilet!
He remembered and asked the karanguni man who collects newspapers
Boy: Karanguni, what is ABCDE?
Karanguni: I am George Washington. You are karanguni. Puput!
He remembered and asked the TV, who is advertising a restaurant.
Boy: TV, what is ABCDE?
TV: **advertising** 62-35-35-35
He remembered and asked his brother who was listening to his MP3 player.
Boy: Bro, what is ABCDE?
Brother: **singing along** Come on baby, one more time!
The next day, the teacher asked the boy again.
Teacher: What is ABCDE?
Boy: Shut up or I'll stuff your mouth with curry chicken!
Teacher: **gasp** Where are your manners?
Boy: In the toilet, in the toilet!
The boy was sent to the principal's office for a lecture.
Principal: What is your name?
Boy: I am George Washington. You are karanguni. Puput!
Principal: What is you father's handphone number?
Boy: 62-35-35-35
The principal was furious and got ready to cane the boy.
Principal: Any last words?
Boy: Come on baby, one more time!
Boy: Dunno.
The boy asked his mother at home, who is busy trying to follow instructions from the cook book.
Boy: Mom, what is ABCDE?
Mother: **angry** Shut up or I'll stuff your mouth with curry chicken!
The boy remembered and asked his father who was busy singing a song
Boy: Dad, what is ABCDE?
Father: **busy singing** In the toilet, in the toilet!
He remembered and asked the karanguni man who collects newspapers
Boy: Karanguni, what is ABCDE?
Karanguni: I am George Washington. You are karanguni. Puput!
He remembered and asked the TV, who is advertising a restaurant.
Boy: TV, what is ABCDE?
TV: **advertising** 62-35-35-35
He remembered and asked his brother who was listening to his MP3 player.
Boy: Bro, what is ABCDE?
Brother: **singing along** Come on baby, one more time!
The next day, the teacher asked the boy again.
Teacher: What is ABCDE?
Boy: Shut up or I'll stuff your mouth with curry chicken!
Teacher: **gasp** Where are your manners?
Boy: In the toilet, in the toilet!
The boy was sent to the principal's office for a lecture.
Principal: What is your name?
Boy: I am George Washington. You are karanguni. Puput!
Principal: What is you father's handphone number?
Boy: 62-35-35-35
The principal was furious and got ready to cane the boy.
Principal: Any last words?
Boy: Come on baby, one more time!
Blame the dog
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
> >CLASS TIME . =) *
> >
> >
> >The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any
> >teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because
> >the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class. Her
> >face is as fierce as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if
> >offended... And if you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.
> >
> >
> >Students: Good morning , teacher .
> >
> >Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning ? What about
> >afternoon and night ?
> >
> >Students : Good morning, afternoon and night teacher !!
> >
> >Teacher : That is unacceptable ! It is too long . Just wish
> >me best regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and
> >full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all
> >times .
> >
> >Students : Best regards teacher!
> >
> >Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I,m going to test
> >you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a
> >sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite
> >meaning to the words, understand?
> >
> >Students: Understood teacher !
> >
> >Teacher : I do not want any disturbance .
> >
> >Students : (silence)
> >
> >Teacher : Clever!
> >
> >Students : Stupid!
> >
> >Teacher : High!
> >
> >Students : Low!
> >
> >Teacher : Popular!
> >
> >Students: Calafare!
> >
> >Teacher : Wrong!
> >
> >Students: Correct!
> >
> >Teacher : Stupid!
> >
> >Students : Clever!
> >
> >Teacher : No!
> >
> >Students: Yes!
> >
> >Teacher : Oh God!
> >
> >Students : Oh Slave!
> >
> >Teacher : Listen to this!
> >
> >Students: Listen to that!
> >
> >Teacher : Quiet!
> >
> >Students: Noisy!
> >
> >Teacher : That's not a question, stupid !!
> >
> >Students: This is an answer, clever!
> >
> >Teacher : I'm dead!
> >
> >Students: We're alive!
> >
> >Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!
> >
> >Students : We are hardworking to learn!
> >
> >Teacher : Enough! Enough!
> >
> >Students : More! More!
> >
> >Teacher : Stop! Stop!
> >
> >Students : Start! Start!
> >
> >Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!
> >
> >Students : Because I am someone clever!
> >
> >Teacher : Lack manners!
> >
> >Students: Taught enough!
> >
> >Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended!
> >
> >Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
> >
> >Teacher : Enough, stupid!
> >
> >Students: Not yet, clever!
> >
> >Teacher : Stand up!
> >
> >Students: Sit down!
> >
> >Teacher : I said CALAFARE was wrong!
> >
> >Students: We said POPULAR was correct!
> >
> >Teacher : You people are dumb!
> >
> >Students: We are gifted!
> >
> >Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon!
> >
> >Students : Released tonight!
> >
> >Teacher : (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)
Four guys were at a bar. They all start talking to each other about their sons.
One guy said, "I am so happy. My son is a big success. He works for Microsoft and makes a LOT of money. He is so succesful, he just bought his girlfriend a new car"!
The second guy said, "Same here. My son is so successful, too. He works for a car dealership and makes a LOT of money, too. He even makes so much money, he just bought his girlfriend a new house."
The third guy said, "I know what you are talking about. My son is like that too-- only he just gave his girlfriend 1 million dollars!"
The fourth guy stepped up to them, looking really sad. He said, "I can't believe it! I don't know what went wrong! My son is a failure. He's a Janitor! Listen to this. He's even GAY! The only good part about it is that his boyfriends just got him a new house, a new car, and gave him a million dollars!"
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Nobody and idiot are friends.
nobody got hit by a car and idiot said
"nobody's hurt! nobody's hurt!!"
and a policeman said
"are you idiot?"
and idiot answered
"yes, nice to meet you!"
Lee Sum Wan : Hello can i speak to Annie Wan .
Mr Sori : Yes u could speak to me .
Lee Sum Wan : No,i want to speak to Annie Wan !
Mr Sori : You are talking to someone ! Who is this ?
Lee Sum Wan : I'm Sum Wan . And i need to talk to Annie Wan ! Its urgent .
Mr Sori : I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about ?
Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident . Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital . Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital .
Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter ! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this !!!
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude . Who are you ?
Mr Sori : I'm Sori .
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry . Now give me your name !
Mr Sori : I'm Sori !!
Lee Sum Wan : I don't like your tone of voice Mr and i don't care , give me your name !!
Mr Sori : Look lady , i told you already I'm Sori ! I'm Sori !! I'm SORI !!! you didn't even give me your name !
Lee Sum Wan : I told you before I'm Sum Wan ! Sum Wan !!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy .And my uncle holds a very big position in the co . He is Noe Buddy .
Mr Sori : Oh im so scared (sarcastically). Look i don't care about your uncle he's nobody . Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company .
Lee Sum Wan : No Avery Buddy just married my aunt . And Avery Buddy doesn't work there .
Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of your aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here ! Jeez !!!
Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sister !
Mr Sori : I don't know which one is your sister ! Why in gods name u think i do !? Look i got work to do and if I'm felling mischievious I'll broad cast it on the P.A system saying .
"Attention,someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an accident . But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital . But everyone is going to the hospital anyways .The father maybe a somebody but if you're their uncle, you're a nobody . "how bout that ! ?
3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".
The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.
The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.
The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.
Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.
He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello.”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$90,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing …..the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape…..
Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
teacher: 5 birds are sitting in a row and a guy shoots 1 of them... how many are left?
student: none, cause the others flew away
teacher: the correct answer is 4, but i like how your thinking
student: ma'am i have a question for you...
student: 3 women are eating ice cream, 1 was biting the cone, 1 was licking the cone, and the other one was sucking the cone... who's married?
teacher: the one sucking the cone
student: no, it's the one with the wedding ring but i like how your thinking
2 twins are born. when they are 2 yrs old, the girl asks the dad if she can take a shower w/ him. the dad says, "sure but dont look down." they're are taking a shower and the twin looks down. the twin says, "daddy, wats that?" dad says,"thats my limo." other twin does same thing w/ the mom, but looks up and down. looks up says"mommy wat dat?" "thats my headlights" looks down, says "mommy wat dat?" "thats my garage" one night the twins are bored, so they go to their parents room to see wat they are doing. the twins say, "mommy, better turn on your headlights and open your garage cuz daddy's limo is coming in!
blood test
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?
1st Child: I came here for a blood test.
2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?
1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying profusely.
The first one was astonished.
1st Child: Why are you crying now?
2nd Child: I came for a urine test !
There was an emperor who had a beautiful daughter.But he was worried that men would not love her for true self but because of her status....and so he summoned 3 great warriors and said to them,'Now....you three must travel around the world and gather as many ping pong balls as you can, then you must fill this room, approximately 1000000cm x 1000000cm room with the ping pong balls you've collected. Whoever collected the most will have my daughter as their wife. So the three of them set out in search for ping pong balls
The first man came back 3 years later.He filled a quarter of them room with ping pong balls, the emperor wasn't very happy
The second man came back 2 years later,.He filled half the room with ping pong balls. The emperor was pleased with his findings..
The third man came back 5 years later....He had 2 huge sacks with him..... The king, greeted him in joy and said to him,' Brave warrior, you have indeed work hard.Now , fill this room with the ping pong ballls you've collected over this decade...'
The warrior's mouth dropped, he said,' What?! Ping Pong Balls?! I Thought You Said King Kong's Balls?!'
Teacher ask boy what is ABC?
he dont know and go home ask
Descriptions of Boy's Family
Mum - Score A1 for Home Ec and loves to cook
Bro - Loves to fight
Sis - Loves to watch SUPERMAN
Grandma - Loves to pray
Papa - Loves to sing when bathing
Boy: Mum, what is ABC?
Mum: I LOVE COOKING!
Boy:Bro,what is abc?
Brother: WANT TO FIGHT ISSIT? -punch boy-
Boy:sister, wats abc?
Sister: SUPERMAN!
Boy: Grandma, What's ABC?
Grandma: Toah Peh Kong x2 (a chinese god)
Boy: Papa, what is ABC?
Papa: sings -bu yao wen wo cong na li lai, wo cong tian sia diao sia lai) (chinese) in english is, do not ask me where i come from, i came from the top and landed on the bottom
Next day,
Teacher : Boy, what's ABC?
Boy: I LOVE COOKING!
Teacher: CRAZY AH U?
Boy: WANT TO FIGHT ISSIT? -punch teacher-
then boy was sent to principle office
Principle : WHO DO U TINK I AM?
Boy : Toah Peh Kong x2
Principle : WHO DO U TINK U ARE?
Boy : SUPERMAN!!
Principle : WHERE DO U COME FROM?
Boy : sings -bu yao wen wo cong na li lai, wo cong tian sia diao sia lai) (chinese) in english is, do not ask me where i come from, i came from the top and landed on the bottom
-principles walk away-
tag replies
Vincent: Dear Princess, Nicely Design Blog! Love it, and hope to know more about you. Do drop by my blog also www.divinediary.com , hope we can exchange link yeah! Awaiting you. Vinzy
haha, sure. what can i link you as?
selina: relink me! http://girls-life-sucks.blogspot.com/
relink you already :D
Gracia :D: 70%? okay :D hahas. waiting for you come eh. oh btw, i brk cpl. maybe today
OMG, dont break laa!
Aeriar: Ello Serene! Lols cause you asked me to tag you heres your tag!
LOL thankyou lor.
selina: hahaa! thanks :P
noproblem :D
CDX . B: heyhey! one tag for you <3 =DD
thankyou :D <3333